Thursday, June 9, 2011

Driving me Crazy

Today i decided to be a good husband and drop my wife off for class. I said let me take my son so we could spend some time together, wrong fucking move. This kid didn't shut the fuck up for nothing in the world. I felt like dropping him off at the first corner i saw and driving straight into a pole. At times I wish he was mute and then I would tie his little hands behind his back so he couldn't tell me shit. He sits in his car seat yelling are we there yet?  At a red light he yells daddy go, why did you stop? Drive faster the other cars are catching us. Then I blow up and say LJ shut the fuck up! He looks at me and says are you mad at me dad? Theres only one thing a father could say and that is "No son daddy is not mad at you but if you don't shut up daddy is going to kick your ass".

weather

God damn its fucking hotter than a fat man's balls smashed together between his pork chop thighs. I was driving around all day with a fucked up A.C, so you know i was sweating bullets. I hate this fucking heat. These are the days that I wish I was working in the O.R with the A.C full blast and my nipples hard all day.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Sick Calls

The rate of unemployment is at an all time high and getting a job is harder than a statue's dick. If you have a job consider yourself luckier than a fat fuck at a buffet. Respect your job by doing what is needed of you and stop calling in sick after pay day. I know a person that calls in after every pay period and appear the next day like nothing is wrong. I also know a person that called in sick on pay day but came in to pick up their check. I'm letting you know now the job market is tighter than a turtle's pussy so respect your job and stop calling in after pay day.

T.V Violence

People are always talking shit about the programs on evening t.v, either they are too sexy but mostly too violent.  I want to talk about daytime t.v, I have a 3 yr. old who just started watching Power Rangers Samarai and now he is kicking the shit out of everyone in the house. This little motherfucker just hit me in the face with the remote and said it was a sword and that i was Nilock the monster on the show. He didn't do that shit when he watched Barney he would give me a great big hug and a kiss from me to you, now I'm getting a busted lip from my 3 yr. old. He is terrorizing everyone, my daughter is scared of him and the dog, its a miracle he is still alive. So if the networks want to take off shows for being too violent I nominate Power Rangers Samarai.